People Make A Likeable City

This is also extracted from today paper of 18.06.2008:-

A FEMALE driver cut into the lane of a male driver. Annoyed, he blared the horn incessantly. He claims to have seen the woman showing him the finger when he looked into his rear view mirror.

The man pursued her to a car park, where a confrontation ensued, with her male companion suffering from a broken nose as a result.

In another case, a man slapped a boy in a neighbourhood convenience store. Later, in a coffee shop, his mother confronted that man, who then punched her in the eye in retaliation.

The assailant told her he was teaching the child how to behave since she was incapable of doing it.

A family friend, who had migrated, came back to visit. He was in a crowded food court, when a couple walked by and the woman brushed against him. She turned around and shouted at him. Her companion went after my friend, who had moved ahead, and challenged him to a fight. Frightened, my friend made his way quickly to the escalator, with the couple shouting vulgarities after him.

These incidents make me wonder if indeed we are seeing the emergence of violence in our society.

If this is so, why is this happening? And what must we as a society do to nip the problem in the bud?

It is even more imperative that as the city becomes increasingly crowded, we need to exercise a greater degree of tolerance.

We talk about increasing Singapore’s population to 6 million people. While we continue to lament the lack of graciousness, it becomes even more imperative that as the city becomes increasingly crowded, we need to exercise a greater of degree of tolerance when sharing common space.

The three incidents mentioned point to an intolerance of what may be perceived to be an encroachment into one’s assumed right of space by another person, whether rightly or wrongly,
and intentionally or accidentally.

We demand redress and our pound of flesh, and we want instant gratification, so we start taking the law into our own hands.

Many people blame the Asian obsession with “face” and misplaced personal pride. The male driver and the male partner of the couple at the crowded food court most likely felt a loss of face — the former for being overtaken by someone, all the more so when it was a female driver and the latter if he did not flex his muscles in front of his female companion.

The man who assaulted the mother in the coffee shop probably felt insulted to be confronted by a woman.

Singaporeans must learn to be more accommodating and forgiving. Like any value, this should be inculcated and practised at a young age, at home and in school.

Adults must set an example in public. More worrying, however, is the suggestion that outbursts of such violent behaviour may be the result of our society becoming a pressure cooker.

A live able city and its tourist attractions is not just about cutting-edge facilities and entertainment parks. It goes beyond the physical structures, however sophisticated. In the end, it is the people who make the difference.

The writer is a freelance commentator.